My sense of humor is beginning to return. That’s a really good thing. I never completely lost it, but it kind of lost its luster for a while. I’ve always had an offbeat sense of humor, and I believe I’m joined by many in that. The Far Side is far and above my favorite comic strip. I was devastated when Gary Larson stopped drawing it. I wonder what he’s doing now? What he did when he stopped? There are other odd comics floating around these days, like Lío, but they don’t tickle my funny bone like The Far Side does. The New York Times described Larson’s work as “Sinister, perhaps, and perfect.” What does that have to say about me finding it so funny? It doesn’t matter. We all have our light and shadow sides. I have an absolute abhorrence to people making fun of others–that’s the only kind of humor I dislike, and I believe this is a very noble trait. I’m not going to worry about my sense of humor. I don’t think it’s “broke,” so I’m not going to “fix it.”
Things are moving in my life. I’m making things happen. Unfortunately everything seems to be moving at a snail’s pace, when I am ready for the good stuff to steamroll me. It’s been a long time that I’ve been struggling, so I’m ready for a tidal wave of good. I think I must have broken a mirror or something, back in 2005. Ever since then, it’s been down hill. Not that there haven’t been good times, but rather they’ve been few and far between. But I promised myself that I would be done losing this year. And I’ve only got a short few months plus a year before I turn 50. And I am having one.big.party on my 50th birthday. So mark your calendars–June 30, 2012 lands on a Saturday! Plan on coming out to Albuquerque for the weekend and helping me celebrate!
I have to keep my eye on the good, make plans for the positive, and not get derailed by the negative. Work hard and play hard and be as positive as I can. Surround myself with people who do the same and who love and support me. Easier said than done but according to the astrological omens, it’s a good time for that:
If you were a poker player, the odds would now be far better than usual that you’d be voted one of the “50 Sexiest Poker Players in the World.” If you were a physician volunteering your services in Haiti or Sudan, there’d be an unusually high likelihood that you’d soon be the focus of a feature story on a TV news show. And even if you were just a pet groomer or life coach or yoga teacher, I bet your cachet would be rising. Why? According to my reading of the omens, you Cancerians are about to be noticed, seen for who you are, or just plain appreciated a lot more than usual.
Doesn’t that sound exquisite? It would be absolutely fanfuckingtastic if my frustrations would evaporate. But that’s not realistic. Writing letters, writing summations, writing in my journal, and writing here. And getting exercise, that will help me exorcise my frustrations. I found another class at the Maple Street Dance Space, beginning African dance, that I think will be lovely to try…once I get a little more settled. Well, actually, when I can afford it. I got out my sketch pad today and started drawing. Oh, does it ever feel so good. I’m so pleased. I found out about a new (to me) art project called OffCenter Community Arts and I’m so excited because they have groups! A writer’s group and a painting and drawing group! I’m so excited I can’t stand it! I can get back to my art in a supportive, non-pressured environment! Life is good!
Do you know what happened today? I was in Hastings doing a book buy back. I had just walked in, the customer service rep was with another customer, so I told her I was going to set my books on the counter and find the restroom. When I came back out, the other customer was gone, and he’d taken my books with him! The manager looked at the security tapes, and it appeared to him that the guy took my books on purpose. They called his number and left a message. If he doesn’t call back by 3:00 p.m. tomorrow, they’re going to file a police report. Isn’t that wild? What a dumbass. The store has his name, driver’s license number, address, and phone number. Life isn’t always so good!
And do you know what else happened today? This little blog of mine hit 2,000 visits. And I have a new subscriber–another woman who suffers from OCD. I’m looking forward to checking out her blog and comparing war stories. I know that people make it to my blog by mistake, but I love it when they make it to my blog and want to stay. (Aside: In order to read these gems, you’ll probably need to click on them). We can cheer each other on and support each other! Life is good!
I am soon to be completely on my own at my little job. That’s a good thing. I like the 20-somethings that I work with, but I’m not accustomed to working that closely with another person, side by side. It takes a lot of patience, and fortunately I do have a lot of patience, for the most part. I’m about as ready for that baby to be born as my co-worker is, but for different reasons. Although I must say, I’m anxious on her behalf as well, not just for my own selfish reasons. Life is good!
Speaking of pain…I’m finally good on something that occurred yesterday. People hurt each other all the time. Sometimes intentionally, sometimes not. I had a row with someone. Someone who basically called me a liar, because he doesn’t remember having told me something. He accused me of clocking him on Facebook. We are not friends on Facebook, and both have private pages. He refused to even consider the possibility he was wrong. I don’t particularly care about right or wrong. What hurt and bothered me was that he was really unkind and judgmental and ugly about the whole thing. I write about this because I spent quite a bit of time yesterday and today out of sorts and upset about it. And also, yeah, he can consider this a de facto communiqué. But I have come to the conclusion that it’s really in the big picture, it really doesn’t rate. He will apologize, or he won’t, and I have no control over it. If he doesn’t, he’s not the kind of person I want as a friend. If he does…well, I really don’t know. Why are we so parsimonious with love and appreciation and so generous with disapproval and thanklessness? What I do know, is that I don’t have room in my life for someone who exhibits that kind of behavior and doesn’t own up to it. I’m okay with whatever happens. Life isn’t always so good!
Now, for something truly terrible. You wouldn’t believe it. It’s so hideous, so astonishing, so atrocious…Pennie stole my flip-flop. Actually, this is a daily occurrence. But this time, I can’t find it. Honestly, I’ve looked all over for it. I had just bought a new pair because he’d chewed up those I had. He usually carries them out to the family room. I looked everywhere inside and out-of-doors and they are nowhere to be found. I looked in the alley in case he dropped it over the gate–nada. It seems to have vanished into thin air. Maddening. Life sucks!
I found out something marvelous! I can go to the gym where I work and work out any time I want to! There are weights, there’s a huge floor where the gymnasts do floor exercises, and there’s a trampoline! I’m so excited I can hardly stand it! My daughter is excited too! Her first love was a trampoline. My son is 15 and too cool to admit he’s excited, but I think he is a little. He likes a trampoline too, now and again. Life is good!
And breaking news, Congress came to an agreement on the budget. It will be interesting and painful to see what they have cut and what remains. I have a lot of debates with friends on Facebook about politics. But everyone has been disgusted with the possibility of a shutdown. Thankfully that has been averted. I think that Congress had to know that there would be no glory if there were a shutdown, but rather the opposite.
I have no particular wisdom to offer tonight. I’m very very worn down. After I got up this morning, I went back to bed and slept another hour or two, I don’t even know. Tomorrow I’ll be back to my peppy self. I’m looking so much forward to the day. The weather is superb, and I’m relishing the opportunity to plow through some tasks, cook for my children, spend time with them, go to group meditation, and then I have a phone date with my sister. My son has become a vegetarian, so I’m scouring my vegetarian cookbooks for something he will like. My daughter loves salad with ranch dressing in a pita pocket, so I will be sure to make that. Perhaps I will make falafel sandwiches.
Since I’m lacking in any particular wisdom, I will borrow some from others.
“How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.” ~ George Washington Carver
“Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true.” ~ Robert Brault
“Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping him up.” ~ Jesse Jackson
“If you haven’t any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.” ~ Bob Hope
“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” ~ Dalai Lama
“I always prefer to believe the best of everybody, it saves so much trouble.” ~ Rudyard Kipling
“If we should deal out justice only, in this world, who would escape? No, it is better to be generous, and in the end more profitable, for it gains gratitude for us, and love.” ~ Mark Twain
1.) My children, always. They taught me what love really is. Love you immensely.
2.) Music and friends who introduce me to new stuff. So damned cool.
3.) Family and friends who love me.
4.) My community, I’m so lucky to live in Albuquerque, and all of the community arts projects that I can participate in.
5.) My furry babies, love love love you.